Lightning Strife
Azure Vampire
Student
played by hun [/size][/i][/center]
Posts: 139
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Post by Lightning Strife on Dec 23, 2012 1:26:45 GMT -5
[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, background: #e1e1e1; width: 400px; border-left: #488AC7 12px solid; border-right: #488AC7 12px solid; margin: 10px;][style=margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 10px; float: left; overflow: auto; ]  Enough was enough.
Lightning, clad in her usual shorts (because who cared if it was winter or summer?), drop arm top with some sort of controversial statement printed across her chest, over-sized hoodie and black docs, threw a menacing look to some first year who had made the unfortunate mistake of getting in her way.
The brunette, supporting her class look of fuck you with a touch of what the fuck are you looking at, fished a packet of malboro reds out of her pockets and took one cigarette out and plucked it into her mouth in one, swift motion, before shoving it back where it came from and producing a white bic lighter that had the words get your own fucking lighter scribbled on it in bold, black marker in true, Lightning fashion. With one flick, the cigarette was lit, and she proceeded to puff her way towards the dorms, rolling her eyes when some naive student attempted to remind her that the Spurcus Noct Academy was a non-smoking area.
Yeah.
Not happening.
Flicking the ash off in the direction of the aforementioned student, she entered the dorms, opening the door with the kick of her boot, and made her way up to Cris' dorm, smoking out rings as she went.
You see, the Pack was, in every sense of the word, fucked. Fucked up.
And surprise, surprise, Lightning--who apparently, took the quickest to recover; or at least, pretend to recover--took it upon herself to man the fuck up and be the boring rock of the group, and get everyone to stop weeping and to be the fucking Pack again. Dragging one last smoke, she flicked the cigarette out onto the carpet and stamped it out, the edge of her lips teetering up to form her signature smirk. She considered this to be one of her better moments. Knight in fucking shining as fuck armour.
She snorted.
Who knew?
I mean, don't get her wrong; she may be walking about and talking like she owned the fucking place (because, let's face it, Spurcus Noct was her bitch), but Lightning was all sorts of fucked up. She had to hand it to him--Julian really knew how to fuck someone up. If he didn't make her want to scream, cry, and violently beat the living shit out of him all at the same time, she'd seriously consider befriending the boy just to see how he did it.
The azure sighed, that little outtake of breath releasing some of the pent up anger and frustration she had been quietly keeping in for the past few days. Since when did the Pack need mending? Sephora, the fucking boss, refused to leave her room, who even knew what was happening with Raea, Ki was in Japan--although she heard she was back now--Justin was being Justin, but the new and improved i-don't-give-a-shit edition, and Cris? Fuck, don't even get her started on Cris. As much as the rest of the Pack being broken hurt her, it was Cris which really made her flinch. I mean, the girl had pretty much moulded Lightning into who she was now; as well as being her first (and, although she wouldn't admit it to anyone, because hello, she didn't do sentimental) best friend. And it was just fucked up to see Cris so...not Cris.
So the fledgling was going to give her some therapy.
Lightning style.
Armed with chocolate and cigarettes (although that was pretty much for Lightning), as well as some money for alcohol just in case, the brunette stomped her way to Cris' dorm, and banged on the door with her fist loudly repeatedly, not stopping until it was open.
"Hey Panda-bear, it's me, your fucking long lost lover," she banged on the door louder for impact, "open the fuck up before i electrocute the shit outta you."
After five minutes, and the door remaining closed, Lightning decided to quit playing nice, and she took a few step backwards, before taking a running jump and kicking the door so that the lock broke, and it swung open to reveal an empty dorm room.
Oops.
Brows furrowing into a frown, she let out a frustrated sigh, before taking out another cigarette and lighting it, one hand gingerly rubbing her left temple as she thought just where the fuck Cris could be. In her mind, there were two options: either in some boy's bed, or by the East Wall. For the better of both parties, Lightning decided to try the latter, and if she wasn't there, then she'd call it quits for the day.
With quick, sure footsteps, the girl made her way out of the dorms and began to walk towards the East Wall, calmly collecting her thoughts. It had been a while since she'd woken up in the middle of the night due to her nightmares, and she figured that that was a good thing. It either meant that they were getting less painful, or she was just getting used to them. It didn't matter; either way she didn't have to drink herself to sleep anymore. Despite her friends pretty much being MIA (not that she blamed them), and her twin doing a disappearing act--which, by the way, felt pretty fucking great--she had to say, Lightning was doing pretty good.
If it wasn't for Ty, and his fucking washboard abs and perfect face.
But that was a whole other topic, and she didn't even want to approach it. Like the fact that, despite everything she told him and herself, she may--may--have begun to develop some actual, i-shit-you-not feelings for the wretched boy.
Yeah, it came as a surprise to her to.
But she was still in the process of denial, (even if she knew she was) in order for herself to continue to be blissful ignorant, and happy. Just for a little why.
Taking a deep drag out of her cigarette, she continued to walk--why was the academy so fucking big? She swore they only made it that way to piss her off--until the East Wall came into view, and surely enough, a little while later, a denim jacket clad girl with ombre hair swam into view. She took a minute to take in the new violet, dip-dyed blue hairstyle, knowing full well that the girl wore her hair as a statement--perhaps the only way she physically showed how she felt. Lightning knew Cris well enough--she knew what the colours meant. With a roll of her eyes, the brunette made her way to the crimson, arching one brow as she joined her in sitting on top of the wall.
"Well hey Cris, you're looking dapper as ever."
Dripping with sarcasm, Lightning offered up her best signature smirk, before whipping out a few bars of Hershey's chocolate, and throwing them onto Cris' lap. "Eat up, Panda. Aren't I a top friend or what?" Leaning back, she finished off her smoke and stubbed it out onto the front of the wall, before letting it drop to the ground.
"So," she muttered, "long time no see." She tilted her head towards Cris, one brow arched as ever. "Miss me, Panda-bear?"
Of course she fucking did--who wouldn't?[style=border-top: 2px #488AC7 solid; padding-top: 5px; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px;]words: 1174 notes: ugh bit of a fail i'm sorrryyyyy but yay for panda and bug<3 |
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Crissatha Isobel Pandora
Crimson Vampire
Student/Musician
played by reesa [/size][/i][/center]
Life's a bitch. Then you die.
Posts: 54
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Post by Crissatha Isobel Pandora on Dec 26, 2012 22:44:01 GMT -5
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Crissatha Isobel Pandora
No Vacancy Baby,
I want you to Hate me
cause no one can save me...
Cris debated her options for the day as she lazily ran a brush through her hair. It was wet so the violet and blue didn’t look quite as wicked as it usually did, but it would. She smirked. The new colors amused the fuck out of her. Usually her colors had meaning, especially when they were the streaks dyed in otherwise black hair. Red was her usual one, red was the more feisty, bitchy, and all around Cris color. So it was the usual one and she had almost put it in her hair. But she had changed her mind.
Violet was one she hadn’t had in in awhile. Violet was ready to play, violet was wild. And it was the color she often used when she was in the mood for a fling or ten and knew her mood would stay that way. She hadn’t much used that color since before she had died, being that that was the color that had been in her hair when she had died. She scowled and pushed that thought as far from her mind as she could manage. She was not sticking on those fucking thoughts, they never did her any good and she was determined to at least pretend to be normal.
Blue was the more chill color, laid back. Which meant the violet and blue were a contradiction for her. But mostly they were there to tell people she was alright. Those that didn’t know her colors might ignore it, those that did—which was rare, Cris didn’t share her secret she just let people figure it out and hinted at it when she was bored—would think she was alright. Because these were the colors for alright. She was so damn not alright but she didn’t give a fuck. She was going to pretend to be.
She was more iced over than she had been in a long time. Her emotions were so shut down it wasn’t even funny. She claimed to be okay. Only Lux really looked at her skeptically but that was because he knew her too well. Most had never seen behind the ice in her eyes to know it wasn’t normal for her to have so much in them like she did these days. Her friends were too fucked up to notice and right now that suited her fine. She supposed a better friend would have comforted them. But she sucked at that bullshit.
Anyway, Cris was debating her options. She wanted to go out and find a male to pass her time with, but part of her just didn’t fucking feel like it. She had gotten quite the fill the day before so it wasn’t really a surprise that she didn’t really feel like diving into that today. Even Cris could get her fill. It was rare but it happened. She shook her head. Wasn’t she full of herself? She felt like she often sounded that way lately. She was hiding away how she felt. Well fuck that.
Absently she stood and dug around her wardrobe until she found one of her typical outfits. An oversized shirt that proclaimed that she was a Sinner on it in gray letters, and a torn up pair of black jeans. It was all good by her. She tugged on one of her jean jackets and nodded a little bit. That worked for her. She snagged one of the only pieces of electronics she could actually know how to work and popped it into her pocket after turning it on. Her music player was all she knew how to work.
The earbuds were in her ears, and she was halfway out the door when she paused. Well fuck how could she forget that? She reached and jerked her denim jacket, one she was never far without, off of her bed and tossed it on. It wasn’t decent protection from the cold for anyone else. But she was a crimson, she didn’t feel the cold anymore. The perks of dying she guessed. She should thank the bastard that killed her, she thought sarcastically. The jacket tugged up over her shoulders and she felt a twang in the right one. Fucking scar.
She ignored it. She always ignored it. It was’t there, it didn’t exist. Neither did that night. She was going and she was going to fucking forget about it even if she had to bury herself in music and sex to do it. She had always been the bitch who didn’t care. Then she had let herself open up to friends and love and all that bull. Never again. She wouldn’t let that happen again. It only caused her pain and that was not worth a damn thing. Not a damn thing to her. So she would ice up. Fuck that other shit.
Fuck emotions. Who needed them?
Anyway.
The only one who got her emotions was Chii. Speaking off. She clicked her tongue and her baby pocked her head out from under the bed. ”Hello, baby” she cooed softly, squatting to receive the little furball when her black panther cub came darting out from under the bed. She scooped her up and got rewarded with a purr and her cheek being stroked with that pretty little girl’s head as she rubbed against her lovingly. And with her baby on her hip, she was now ready to go.
Sans guitar, with only her music in her ears and no real plans, she began to walk. Usually she was playing her music when she went to the east wall but it was one of her favorite places to think. Chii purred and looked around. Cris ignored the stares. Sometimes people mistook Chii for a full grown cat, sometimes people noticed. Cris didn’t care as long as they didn’t try to hurt her baby. It was Cris’s soft spot, her panther. She had saved her from a zoo after her mother had died, and no one had freaking noticed that the poor baby was dying from heartbreak.
So, now Cris was Mama, and Chii was growing big and strong. And never hurt a fly, Cris made sure of it, so people could leave her the fuck alone.
She plopped herself down at the base of the tree and settled Chii down in her lap, though that didn’t last long. Cris kept a half-hearted eye on the girl, knowing she wouldn’t’ wander far, and let her thoughts drift a little bit.
Which was probably why she didn’t notice when Li showed up at the East Wall, apparently looking for her. She tugged out her headphones and turned off her music when her friend came by. She rolled her eyes at Li’s comment, but there was a smirk on her lips. Cris wasn’t all there, not really, she was locked up tight inside herself behind an ice wall but she was good at playing the part of herself. She ran her fingers through her hair. ”Yeah, I fucking like it too, thanks”
Chii came running over, and crawled back into Cris’s lap, tilting her head and looking up at Li and Cris absently ran her fingers through the soft fur at the base of her neck. Li was smoking, which Cris fucking hated but hey it wasn’t her life, and Cris didn’t feel like Chii should get close to that. She dropped chocolate in her lap and Chii batted at it but Cris just snorted, like the delicate lady she had been raised to be of course.
”Pandora, Li. As in call don’t call me Pandora or I’ll kick your ass.” she was amused by the gift of chocolate but, unlike herself, didn’t actually touch it or comment on it, she let it stay where it had been dropped without much of a care.
She put out her smoke, which Cris approved of, and Cris stayed leaning back against the tree as she did. ”Sorry, been busy getting my fun. Single means I can play, ya know” she said, a smirk and a bit of a glint of amusement in her eyes. ”But yeah. So much” she said, sarcastically. Part of her had missed chilling with Li, but at the same time Cris had been too out of it to really notice the absence of her friends. How sad.
Just a damn little freak
MUSE: okay
WORDS: 1387
COMMENTS: Wooo it'll get better lol
Credit: Creation goes to Reesa! Lyrics go to SumoCyco with Danger!
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Lightning Strife
Azure Vampire
Student
played by hun [/size][/i][/center]
Posts: 139
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Post by Lightning Strife on May 23, 2013 14:27:45 GMT -5
[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, background: #e1e1e1; width: 400px; border-left: #488AC7 12px solid; border-right: #488AC7 12px solid; margin: 10px;][style=margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 10px; float: left; overflow: auto; ] ”Yeah, I fucking like it too, thanks.”
Lightning looked back at Cris' hair, eyes pausing for a moment or two on the blue, before flicking back to the crimson's face, cocking one brow in response. The violet and blue had meaning, she was sure, much like the usual red that Cris adorned, and the fledgling leaned back on the wall, resting her body weight on one hand, the other reaching up to flick a few strands of violent blending into blue.
"I'll bet." She said dryly, half wanting to know why the sudden change, but also not really wanting to push it. She knew Cris; much like Lightning wasn't one for sentiment, Cris wasn't the type to do the whole let's-share-and-discuss-feelings thing. It was a similarity that both of them had, something for which the azure was glad for.
A black panther--Chii, she assumed; not that there were a lot of wild cats running around--came running up towards Cris and nestled into her lap, before tilting its head in Lightning's direction. With a soft grin on her lips, Lightning leaned forward to give it a pat on the head, chuckling a little when the cub leaned its head into her hand for more. "She's getting bigger," she murmured, before withdrawing her hand to give Cris the chocolates.
Now, Lightning wasn't stupid--she knew that much like she was hurting, her friends were too.
Apparently she just didn't know how much.
The chocolate she'd just dropped onto Cris' lap--which, to be honest, Lightning had figured Cris would jump at, or at least have a bite of--was left alone, minus Chii batting at it with her black paws.
Well, what the fuck.
What, she wasn't even going to touch it? Lightning frowned slightly, more annoyed than worried. This was going to be harder than she thought.
”Pandora, Li. As in call don’t call me Pandora or I’ll kick your ass.”
Lightning snorted, waving a hand to say, yeah, ok. Not that she wasn't sure that the girl could beat Lightning up--believe me, she could; hadn't she tried to eat her on their first meeting?--but laughed more at the fact that Cris thought she could actually get her to stop with the nickname. Yeah, i don't think so. She smirked, one brow arched as always, and cocked her head to the side, mischievousness settling on her plump lips. "Sure, Panda. Whatever you want." The words lacked the usual snark that Lightning usually dressed her speech with, and she again frowned, not liking how, despite her best efforts, it showed that she wasn't fine. For fuck sake, she wasn't even ok; she was sad, and hurt, and fucking everything bad, and that was what affected her the most.
That she couldn't even pretend to be ok.
That, despite everything she'd been through, she wasn't even strong enough to get over it and be--and be ok.
And now this?
The azure blew a few strands of hair away from her line of vision, the pent up angst beginning to bubble. She'd come to Cris to be the rock or whatever, but fuck that--since when was Lightning ever stable? No--she'd cure her friend her own way.
And then she'd work on the rest.
”Sorry, been busy getting my fun. Single means I can play, ya know. But yeah. So much.”
The word single and fun piqued Lightning attention, and both brows were pulled up high, her features twisting cynically. She paused for one, two seconds, letting the information sink in. Play? Yeah, right.
"Uh-huh, sure," she said, her words saturated in sarcasm that although wasn't up to her usual standards, still held that sting, "and i'm the nicest girl in the world."
Resisting the urge to pull out another cigarette--a habit she knew wasn't liked by her friends; not that she gave a fuck--she swiveled round with agility to face her friend, with her signature don't-fucking-mess-with-me look painted over her features, placing one hand on her hip that would have been cocked if the two had been standing. "Alright Panda, i'm only gunna say this once, because if i repeat what i'm about to say i'll have no choice but to fucking shoot myself, capice?" She rolled her eyes, one brow arched, and she waved a hand (the one not on her hip) over Cris as she talked. "You're not having fun. Fuck, i doubt you're even playing, because get the fuck what? You're not fine. You're not your usual fucking self. And that makes me worried, and i fucking hate being worried."
She sighed, a part of her wanting to be more careful, to be--ugh--sensitive, but another part was too angry, too irrational to care about not hurting feelings. Besides, Cris was a big girl; she could handle it.
"Don't even think about denying it, Cris. You haven't even so much as looked at the chocolate i've given you--the normal you would've pounced on that shit like a bitch in fucking heat, and you know it." She shook her head, feeling slightly uncomfortable--maybe she should've left this rock thing to someone who actually knew what to do; and say. Someone like Raea.
Thing is, Raea wasn't around.
She was.
It sucked, but what could you do, you know?
Lightning paused, before taking a deep breath. This was gunna suck. "You're not fine, so stop pretending like you are--because guess what? Neither am i." She bit her lip, hating this-this--this thing, this fucking confession time. But she, as angry and irrational as she may be, knew that they needed this. They all needed this.
"None of us are."[style=border-top: 2px #488AC7 solid; padding-top: 5px; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px;]words: 905 notes: WOW THIS IS SO FUCKING RUSTY WOW SORRY AND WOW FUCKING WOW WHAT |
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Crissatha Isobel Pandora
Crimson Vampire
Student/Musician
played by reesa [/size][/i][/center]
Life's a bitch. Then you die.
Posts: 54
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Post by Crissatha Isobel Pandora on May 27, 2013 14:53:51 GMT -5
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Crissatha Isobel Pandora
No Vacancy Baby,
I want you to Hate me
cause no one can save me...
Cris had been bored out of her fucking skull but with no motivation to do absoliutely anything. It was like the story of her life lately. She knew that she could get some fun of the male variety, have some sex, distract herself for a while but she just had no motivation to drum up some of that either. Even though it would have taken her all of five minutes to do, now that she had a cell phone, reluctantly, that her mother had forced on to her. It meant it was oh so easy for her to get her “fun” in and get that kick of emotion she needed, because sex was how she dealt with things. That was what happened when her best friend was Marluxia Blake.
She had been avoiding everyone else in her life, why? Because she didn’t want to deal with anyone else. She was just not in the mood to play nice or at least pretend she wasn’t an icy bitch more than usual right now. Also friends just got her screwed over so she really didn’t feel like bothering with any of that. So that left only one option, which was to listen to music and chill out for a while, which was now what she intended to do. In fact, that was what she did, if the fact that she was at the east wall, with her baby panther scampering around her was any indication.
And the fact that she had her headphones in was why she didn’t notice that she wasn’t alone right off the bat. Which was what she wanted, to be alone that is. She was in a bitch mood all over and she had been for a long while. Though she was busy convincing the world that she was fine and she had been for a while now, since she had left Lux’s room to go back into her own single. But that didn’t mean she was up for friends, friends saw through too much and she didn’t feel like pretending she wanted to be close to anyone. Friends had screwed her over. She had finally bothered to make more and look what had happened to her? So she was avoiding them.
Hard to do when one of them walked right up to her though, she supposed. She scowled slightly and shook her head but she pulled out her headphones all the time. She could act like herself, she was too damn good at that lately, honestly. She commented about her hair, mentioning that she liked it too and she did. It was something that was different, something that was out of the norm and having her hair dyed again signified to her that she was okay again, no one need worry.
She didn’t reply to Li’s comment back, merely twiddled her fingers at Chii, who had again pounced into her lap when Li had shown back up. She did keep her fingers tangled in the baby panther’s scruff though, when the girl would likely jump all over Li, the other fledgling was smoking and Cris would prefer her baby not get too close to that shit, thanks. She was a protective Mama, what else was new. Chii was her baby, the only bit of innocence Cris cared to care for anymore.
Li was free to pet her though, Chii adored the attention and Cris would never stop her from getting it. She knew she had a pretty girl on her hands. Cris nodded at the comment. ”I wish she wouldn’t, but yeah. She’s gonna be too big to curl up on my lap soon” Cris commented with a wry twist of her lips as she looked down at the little darling. It was the first thing that made Cris seem like Cris but the girl could never be iced off to her baby, she adored the little panther too much to ever shut her out, and it showed when she talked about her or looked at her, the difference that is.
Though, it appeared that Lightning wasn’t much herself either, if the way that her words lacked her usual flair said anything. None of them were exactly doing wonderful. Cris hadn’t gone through the game like her friends had, but she had felt the after math of what it had done to Justin even though she didn’t know that was exactly why he had lashed out at her like he had. They were all falling apart and usually Cris would do something about that because she hated seeing that shit. Or she’d poke Sephora to do it but the girl was not leaving her room. Which normally would have worried Cris more than it did right now.
Li dismissed Cris teling her not to call her Panda and Cris growled softly in answer before letting go of Chii to let the little panther romp around as pleased her while Cris kept an absent eye on her. She really hated that Li always called her that. In the end though, outwardly , she just rolled her eyes. ”Fine, whatever makes you happy, Bug” she retorted with a snort. Hey, her name was Lightning, like the bug, and Cris also called her Grasshopper after she had kicked the girl when she was acting all mopey over things. Perhaps it was partially Cris’s fault that Li was as abrasive as she was now but Cris doubted it, she had just helped it come out, was all.
”Glad to know you think you’re so sweet” she replied, arching a brow at the other girl. Cris was really having her fun, single style. She always did enjoy sex and she went without it for six fucking months while Justin was too afraid to get it on and Cris was too patient to push him, so it had been cathartic to get that the fuck out of her system. But now that she had made her rounds she was bored of it already. Maybe she’d just bother Lux later. Whatever. But she did mean she wa shaving her fun.
And then she got a fucking lecture.
Cris looked at Li with icy eyes and an arched brow as she went on. She listened to it all and yeah, if she had let her emotions in, some of it may have hit home but Cris was in protective mode, protective over herself and her heart. She had been fucking weak in the tunnels and the weeks after that she had been a sobbing mess in Lux’s room and that was not going to fucking happen again. Li could rant all she wanted, Cris had no intention of taking any of it to heart. She didn’t even move from where she was against the tree, she just listened and waited, refusing to even really listen.
”Done?”she asked after she thought Li was finished and then she shrugged a bit. The word held more ice than Cris had ever tossed at Li before, she had always had a soft spot for the other girl who she had become more than seriously close with over the time they had known each other. She hadn’t even been that much of a bitch in speaking when they had first met and Cris was a second from sinking her teeth into the girl.
But right now, Cris was refusing to feel. And that meant she was not going to react.
”I’m sorry you’re so damn worried but maybe you should worry about yourself and everyone else if no one’s doing so peachy. Because I’m just fine, Bug. I’m not attached, I’m free to do what I want. And I’m so sorry if that bothers you, but I’m not the girl you think. You never met me before J- I went soft. Welcome to how I usually am. she scowled slightly. Fuck this bullshit, she didn’t want to do the whole heart to heart shit. Especially not here, not with Li.
Just a damn little freak
MUSE: okay
WORDS: 1331
COMMENTS: She's so kind >.> lol
Credit: Creation goes to Reesa! Lyrics go to SumoCyco with Danger!
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Lightning Strife
Azure Vampire
Student
played by hun [/size][/i][/center]
Posts: 139
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Post by Lightning Strife on May 28, 2013 20:47:28 GMT -5
[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, background: #e1e1e1; width: 400px; border-left: #488AC7 12px solid; border-right: #488AC7 12px solid; margin: 10px;][style=margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 10px; float: left; overflow: auto; ] Lightning leaned forward, running her fingers gently through Chii's soft fur, smiling a little as the panther rubbed its head against her hand, a low purr emitting from its throat. ”I wish she wouldn’t, but yeah. She’s gonna be too big to curl up on my lap soon,” Cris commented, and Lightning looked up to catch a smile--although a wry one--settle on the crimson's lips, and the action brought unusual comfort to the brunette. It seemed all was not lost, after all.
”Fine, whatever makes you happy, Bug."
Lightning rolled her eyes at Cris' nickname for her, too used it to now to make a comment. Besides, she couldn't exactly object to it--not when she called Cris Panda. That would make her a hypocrite. And Lightning may be a lot of things, but a hypocrite didn't make that list; at least, most of the time. "Glad to know you think you’re so sweet,” Cris replied, and Lightning smirked, enjoying their usual banter.
It was almost--almost--as if nothing was wrong; as if everything was back to normal.
Except it wasn't.
And nobody knew that more than the two of them sitting on the East wall, playing pretense and retorting false comments that lacked their usual spark.
As Lightning talked, she watched Cris arch a brow, and if possible, ice off her features further--and that was just fucking fantastic, wasn't it? The crimson, emotionless and frozen, continued to sit still as the brunette continued to talk, and talk, and talk, and when she finished, Lightning's temper began to boil.
Fuck, was she even listening?
”Done?”
That single word, thrown with such ferocity, such coldness and harshness came at the azure like an arrow through the heart--she would've flinched, if she wasn't so fucking angry. Her eyes widened for one, two seconds, before narrowing sharply, her upper lip curling infinitesimally--she thought she could hear her blood pumping like drums, and Lightning fought to keep her temper under control.
"Hardly," she muttered dryly, but she let the girl continue, in fear of Lightning bursting in sheer anger--she was here to fix, not make it worse. To be the fucking rock, the one that the group could count on to get them all out of this rut.
But, she thought, what could she do? It wasn't like she was completely fixed herself. Playing normalcy could only go so far.
But she was hardly the girl she used to be--the brunette had broken out of her shell; and she was still growing.
And like fuck would she give up on her friends.
”I’m sorry you’re so damn worried but maybe you should worry about yourself and everyone else if no one’s doing so peachy. Because I’m just fine, Bug. I’m not attached, I’m free to do what I want. And I’m so sorry if that bothers you, but I’m not the girl you think. You never met me before J- I went soft. Welcome to how I usually am."
Lightning's eyes narrowed further, as she took in Cris' words. When she spoke, the words (although she tried her hardest not to be) were laced with her anger, her fury, and they mirrored Cris' tone--although they lacked the volume of ice the crimson had packed in.
"What, you think i like doing this? You think i actually like having to go around, watching my fucking friends--because that's what we are, Cris, we're friends so fuck off with this, 'i'm not attached' bullshit--hide away from each other?" She paused, taking a moment to catch her breath. Her chest heaved back and forth, her lungs desperately trying to refill their oxygen as she spat out her words with venom, her anger at Julian finally finding their focus. Her eyes--hard, and the blue filled with hate and, in the far distant corner, fear--locked with Cris', daring, no, demanding her to look away. Her posture screamed aggression, brows furrowed, upper lip pulled back into a snarl, her fingers clenched, digging in to the soft parts of her palm.
Fighting for calm, Lightning took a few more breaths, closing her eyes and envisioning nothing but white--purity. Slowly, her fluttered open, and her posture relaxed, and her voice dropped to a softer murmur--the anger was fading, leaving nothing but a monotonous tone, littered with drops of bleak anguish. "Welcome to how you usually are?" She asked, arching one brow before shaking her head. "Cris, leave it. It's not the 'usual' you--you changed for a reason. It's the past you, for a fucking reason."
She bit her lip, her fingers--now unclenched--playing with the folds of her shorts. "I mean, c'mon--we all change. I did--remember how i used to be? All wide-eyed and please don't hurt me?" She smirked, poorly aiming for humour.
Rolling her eyes, she shifted her weight, looking up towards the sky as she added, "don't you realise we need this? I mean, the fact that i'm doing the fucking heart-to-heart sessions and playing mother fucking therapist says a lot about us, don't you think?" She snorted, flicking a stone away from her feet before blowing her bangs out the way.
"You weren't there, Cris." Her voice lowered, eyes narrowing as she recalled the events--Julian, that psycho bitch, the spiders; Cloud.
"You don't know what we've all been through." She paused, remembering the endless nights of nightmares and frantic phone calls. But then she realised that the present wasn't any better--the pack were a mess, and her twin; well, who knew where Cloud was. "And i don't know what you've been through either," she added, "and that's the problem."
Lightning turned to face Cris once more, pleading for--just once--the ice wall to melt. If Lightning had, couldn't she?
"We need this," she repeated deadly, "we need it."
Otherwise, the pack were done.[style=border-top: 2px #488AC7 solid; padding-top: 5px; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px;]words: 939 notes: /cry she's gone all sappy h elp |
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Crissatha Isobel Pandora
Crimson Vampire
Student/Musician
played by reesa [/size][/i][/center]
Life's a bitch. Then you die.
Posts: 54
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Post by Crissatha Isobel Pandora on May 31, 2013 21:03:47 GMT -5
Cris did not feeling this whole…thing. She had come here because she was restless, not because she wanted a lecture from Li. Of all the people in the world, it almost made her want to laugh that she was getting a lecture from Li when, months ago, in this very spot it was her doing the opposite to her. Funny how times could change, wasn’t it? On top of that change was another one, she was also not the same chick she was back then. She had been hurt, she had shut down. End of story, she didn’t need to bother with this bullshit.
She didn’t want to bother with any of this bullshit. She was happy having sex and hanging out with Lux, she didn’t need on top of that to get a lecture .Fuck that bullshit. She really didn’t want a word of it. She arched a brow at Li, refusing to really react because she was iced off as all fuck. She had dealt with enough that she didn’t need to add Li’s lecture to the list. She had been emotional with Justin and look what that had gotten her? So now she was unemotional as fuck.
Li gave her little speech and Cris had barely listened if she was going to be honest. She knew what the other girl was on about and she didn’t feel like hearing it for the millionth time. At least Lux had the decency to stop telling her she was not okay when she had stopped listening, it seemed like Li refused to quit on the subject and Cris wanted to freaking get it through her head that she had no intention of being the fragile, emotional, easy to hurt chick she was. The unemotional one was doing so much better, if you asked her.
She gave her own little speech but for the most part, she was informing Li that she didn’t much give a damn anymore. This was who she was before Justin and it was who she should have stuck to being if the results of changing was any indication. She had really hoped the icy attitude and the bitchy way she was acting might have made the other woman go off, because Cris really did enjoy Li and didn’t feel like she should keep being a bitch but at the same time she seriously wanted everyone to fuck off and mind their own business when it came to her.
But instead, she got more from the other girl.
She rolled her eyes at the azure vampire that she had nearly eaten when she had first met her. Shit how she had changed, that was obvious and she herself brought it up. But that didn’t mean Cris was supporting changing back. That was like saying Li should change back to who she was. Fuck that bullshit she just wanted to sit here and listen to her music and be on her fucking own. Seriously.
”I really don’t give a shit what you like to do anymore, Bug, sorry” she replied in the most blasé way that she could pull off. Okay, so Li was her friend, yeah that was true. She could acknowledge that underneath her bitch. But she really could barely deal with her own shit, so why should she have to deal with another person’s too? The only person who got that luxury lately was Lux and that was about all. She was focusing on herself, sorry. She didn’t like seeing Li and the rest be so off but, what the fuck was she supposed to do?
Li was entirely being aggressive in her stance but Cris was good about keeping an eye on her feral side, it didn’t bother her, she just arched a brow at the other girl.
”Yep, and I changed again, get used to it” she said, with a roll of those icy eyes of hers when Li spoke about how people changed for reasons. And damn well there was a reason for this one too. She had changed to protect herself, to wrap herself up in a protective layer of ice and bitch and keep everyone away from her. She didn’t need people, people fucked her over.
Li herself brought up the way she used to be and Cris smirked but it was lacking her usual. It was more a reaction to the comment and a natural one at that than any sort of, oh you’re so funny I remember lets be friends and just forget all the past bullshit. Whatever, there was no bad blood between the pair, Cris was just ignoring the fuck out of everyone because it suited her current needs, end of story really. She didn’t get why the Bug couldn’t just drop it and move on.
Li said that she wasn’t there, and Cris’s eyes flicked away. No, she wasn’t because she had gone away, she had gone to he rmothers were she had been turned into a robot version of herself, where she had lost herself and that was just lovely. But no, she hadn’t been there to stand with her friends and help them all get through it, she didn’t have that shared sense of going through something together and that had helped her alienate herself from the rest of them pretty damn easily. She shook her head a little bit and muttered her reply. ”No, but I did feel the aftermath”. She had to assume the reason Justin had lost his mind and gone feral was because of that. What other reason?
She said that she didn’t know what Cris had been through and Cris arched a brow, slightly. No she didn’t. And Cris didn’t want ot talk about it. She said that they needed this, and Cris got that she meant the whole Pakc, not just the pair of them. And fuck, she wanted to give a shit but she had to look out for herself, didn’t she? And she didn’t want ot talk about it.
All the same…
”And what, exactly, is it that we need?”
Words: 1015 Muse: Okay Comments: Ugh this is crud, I'm sorry |
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