Post by Crissatha Isobel Pandora on May 27, 2013 15:10:29 GMT -5
She couldn’t help but mope. It was so far from like her, she couldn’t remember the last time that she had moped about anything or anyone. Cris was the type of person who refused to mope. She was more the type to take a deep breath and go through it without letting it get her down. She had been through too much in her life to let anything really get to her anymore. She tried to press forward. Why? Because moping around was what her old self always did and she refused to become that girl anymore. So now she had pulled on the ice and she was keeping it that way if she could help it.
So this morning she had pulled herself up by her bootstraps—whatever the fuck that meant—and got out of her own bed with the actual intention of leaving her room and going and doing something. It didn’t matter what it was, it just couldn’t be one of two things: It couldn’t be going to class, because…well…blech. And it couldn’t be something that would put her anywhere near him. Because that was just not allowed. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He wasn’t something that she could let herself have anymore, or want anymore.
He had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want her, after all.
It didn’t matter that she had loved him, no of course not. She winced and stopped in her movements. Fuck. She had loved him, first person she had bothered to love like that, even her family didn’t own those rights, they had abandoned her. Well she still had her girls, the BP, even if they were horribly falling apart. No, she couldn’t think about that either. She had been avoiding them too, she couldn’t handle seeing them falling apart and also being near others, it just wasn’t doing her any good. Having friends had screwed her over. She bit her lip, just to feel the shock of the pain when her fangs slightly pierced her lip.
Fangs.
Fuck.
She turned to the fridge in her room and pulled out a bag which she drained in a second flat before making a disgusted face. She really hated the taste of it being cold, it was just nasty. She preferred heating it up first but she wasn’t in the mood to go through that process either. She was in a mood this morning. She had gotten better, she had been out and abou tand seeming like herself but waking up this morning she seemed to be right back in a bitchy, funk of a mood.
She brushed back her currently two toned hair, that faded from the blue up top to the purple down below, slipped on one of Lux’s black button down shirts which she buttoned up, not bothering with a tank top that she often wore as a bra—she was small enough that no one would probably notice. And that was followed by a pair of jeans she didn’t really bother to look too much at, they just had tears like all her jeans. Then she nodded slightly and turned to Chii, arching a brow slightly. Cris wasn’t really speaking much this morning, again, no big deal. That was fine. She’d be better again soon. Chii got what she wanted though and hopped up to stand near Mama who padded out of the room entirely barefoot, because Cris was often barefoot to be honest.
She liked having the ground under her feet, and despite the chill she never felt it. She was a red, it had to come in handy sometime. It meant she didn’t need a coat, that the long sleeves were enough, and shoes were more of a luxury than a necessity. It was a perk because there had a to be a perk somewhere in this whole being almost dead thing that she couldn’t really escape even though some days she really wanted to. She paused in her footsteps, realizing in the back of her mind she had just had a very morbid thought about how to escape the whole being almost dead thing. And it was a very quick way out that would stop all the pain that was constantly in her heart. Fuck. She had promised herself she’d stop thinking like that. She was stronger than this. One little break up was not going to stop her.
She popped her iPod into her pocket and slipped her headphones on, she barely even noticed what was playing and barely noticed when it wasn’t rock and roll. Which was odd, because usually Cris was all about Rock and roll and not the classical stuff, but hey. She didn’t care. She was just walking along with music in her ears and that was all that really mattered, right? She had her music, music made her feel better and—WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE IN A FUNK AGAIN? She sighed and shook her head.
Only then, it changed to a song who’s lyrics made her pause and want to tear up a bit—which was fucking annoying—right as she got to the Drama class room with its big stage. No one was around, it wasn’t a big deal. Cris shook her head. Hadn’t she said she would be staying away from classrooms today? Oh fucking well. She wanted to get this off of her chest. She nodded slightly and padded up, and took center stage in the classroom, the door was closed but someone could easily enter and she wouldn’t notice. She started to sing for the first time in what felt like forever. She had been too busy with sex.
She sang, her powerful alto belting out the words, her emotion ringing in it which made the fact that she was slightly rusty less apparent. She was just going for the emotion. Chii sat in front of the stage, watching her Mama sing and try to work through her issues, listening to words come out of her mouth for the first time in far too long. She was just putting her emotions into the words because it felt real. Her eyes were closed, the melody was in her ears, and she was belting it out and trying to get over the pain.
It was then that she finished belting it out, taking a deep breath, and it was then that she opened her eyes and noticed that Chii was no longer right there in front of her, but she had moved over to greeting the person who had been in the room with her. She had no idea how long the other girl had been there, but she knew that Chii would have greeted her right away. How long had she been belting out her heart with an audience? She pulled out a headphone and looked over towards her “Little Sister” who she realized she hadn’t seen in a good month. Not since they had been together at the ball and Cris had teased her, helped her find someone to dance with because she had totally needed it and she had been dressed more risqué than Cris herself would have.
She pushed her bangs out of her face and nodded towards Raea. ”Hey” was all she said, softly. She wasn’t’ her usual chatty, sarcastic self who hated to say hey. She was just…her.
Words: 1325
Muse: Damn Good
Comments: Chii would have gone to meet her the second she showed up ^_^ And yes, I did edit their old thread
Song: youtu.be/XxqxhE2JmZ0
So this morning she had pulled herself up by her bootstraps—whatever the fuck that meant—and got out of her own bed with the actual intention of leaving her room and going and doing something. It didn’t matter what it was, it just couldn’t be one of two things: It couldn’t be going to class, because…well…blech. And it couldn’t be something that would put her anywhere near him. Because that was just not allowed. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He wasn’t something that she could let herself have anymore, or want anymore.
He had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want her, after all.
It didn’t matter that she had loved him, no of course not. She winced and stopped in her movements. Fuck. She had loved him, first person she had bothered to love like that, even her family didn’t own those rights, they had abandoned her. Well she still had her girls, the BP, even if they were horribly falling apart. No, she couldn’t think about that either. She had been avoiding them too, she couldn’t handle seeing them falling apart and also being near others, it just wasn’t doing her any good. Having friends had screwed her over. She bit her lip, just to feel the shock of the pain when her fangs slightly pierced her lip.
Fangs.
Fuck.
She turned to the fridge in her room and pulled out a bag which she drained in a second flat before making a disgusted face. She really hated the taste of it being cold, it was just nasty. She preferred heating it up first but she wasn’t in the mood to go through that process either. She was in a mood this morning. She had gotten better, she had been out and abou tand seeming like herself but waking up this morning she seemed to be right back in a bitchy, funk of a mood.
She brushed back her currently two toned hair, that faded from the blue up top to the purple down below, slipped on one of Lux’s black button down shirts which she buttoned up, not bothering with a tank top that she often wore as a bra—she was small enough that no one would probably notice. And that was followed by a pair of jeans she didn’t really bother to look too much at, they just had tears like all her jeans. Then she nodded slightly and turned to Chii, arching a brow slightly. Cris wasn’t really speaking much this morning, again, no big deal. That was fine. She’d be better again soon. Chii got what she wanted though and hopped up to stand near Mama who padded out of the room entirely barefoot, because Cris was often barefoot to be honest.
She liked having the ground under her feet, and despite the chill she never felt it. She was a red, it had to come in handy sometime. It meant she didn’t need a coat, that the long sleeves were enough, and shoes were more of a luxury than a necessity. It was a perk because there had a to be a perk somewhere in this whole being almost dead thing that she couldn’t really escape even though some days she really wanted to. She paused in her footsteps, realizing in the back of her mind she had just had a very morbid thought about how to escape the whole being almost dead thing. And it was a very quick way out that would stop all the pain that was constantly in her heart. Fuck. She had promised herself she’d stop thinking like that. She was stronger than this. One little break up was not going to stop her.
She popped her iPod into her pocket and slipped her headphones on, she barely even noticed what was playing and barely noticed when it wasn’t rock and roll. Which was odd, because usually Cris was all about Rock and roll and not the classical stuff, but hey. She didn’t care. She was just walking along with music in her ears and that was all that really mattered, right? She had her music, music made her feel better and—WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE IN A FUNK AGAIN? She sighed and shook her head.
Only then, it changed to a song who’s lyrics made her pause and want to tear up a bit—which was fucking annoying—right as she got to the Drama class room with its big stage. No one was around, it wasn’t a big deal. Cris shook her head. Hadn’t she said she would be staying away from classrooms today? Oh fucking well. She wanted to get this off of her chest. She nodded slightly and padded up, and took center stage in the classroom, the door was closed but someone could easily enter and she wouldn’t notice. She started to sing for the first time in what felt like forever. She had been too busy with sex.
” Look at this heart-shaped wreckage
What have we done?
We have got scars from battles
Nobody won
We can start over, better
Both of us know
If we just let the broken pieces
Let the broken pieces
What have we done?
We have got scars from battles
Nobody won
We can start over, better
Both of us know
If we just let the broken pieces
Let the broken pieces
She sang, her powerful alto belting out the words, her emotion ringing in it which made the fact that she was slightly rusty less apparent. She was just going for the emotion. Chii sat in front of the stage, watching her Mama sing and try to work through her issues, listening to words come out of her mouth for the first time in far too long. She was just putting her emotions into the words because it felt real. Her eyes were closed, the melody was in her ears, and she was belting it out and trying to get over the pain.
I can't find you in the dark
Will we get back to who we are?
And I can't fix this on my own
Our love is still the best thing I've ever known”
[/i][/center]Will we get back to who we are?
And I can't fix this on my own
Our love is still the best thing I've ever known”
It was then that she finished belting it out, taking a deep breath, and it was then that she opened her eyes and noticed that Chii was no longer right there in front of her, but she had moved over to greeting the person who had been in the room with her. She had no idea how long the other girl had been there, but she knew that Chii would have greeted her right away. How long had she been belting out her heart with an audience? She pulled out a headphone and looked over towards her “Little Sister” who she realized she hadn’t seen in a good month. Not since they had been together at the ball and Cris had teased her, helped her find someone to dance with because she had totally needed it and she had been dressed more risqué than Cris herself would have.
She pushed her bangs out of her face and nodded towards Raea. ”Hey” was all she said, softly. She wasn’t’ her usual chatty, sarcastic self who hated to say hey. She was just…her.
Words: 1325
Muse: Damn Good
Comments: Chii would have gone to meet her the second she showed up ^_^ And yes, I did edit their old thread
Song: youtu.be/XxqxhE2JmZ0
